Decision Making
One of the advantages of being single and living alone is that one does not have to negotiate with another person regarding day-to-day decisions. If one makes a mistake, one simply takes responsibility for it and then makes a new decision, lives with the results of the previous decision or makes a new one even if that involves adsorbing a financial loss as a result of the previous decision. That is the good news – no one to blame. The bad news is that there is no one with whom to share the decision and, thus, no one to share the blame if it turns out to be a decision which does not achieve the desired results.
Even if we live alone, most of us are connected to social, community or work institutions which require us to make decisions with other people. As we know there are many ways for any group to make decisions. One can, for example, have a boss, a CEO or any structure which assigns responsibility to a position to make final decisions. The person in that position might ask for input from individuals, an assigned committee, or the next level of management, but it is still up to the top person on the hierarchy to make the decision and to subsequently take responsibility for the results of the decision. Just recently we, in the United States were told that the head of a Federal Agency was resigning because of what had happened on her watch. She was well aware that no matter how little input she had into the actions of individuals in the agency who made unsound decisions it was ultimately her responsibility.
One can also make decisions by simple majority or require that a certain percentage agree to a particular decision for it to approved and enacted. This, of course, can take more time than having an individual make the decision
The most time consuming decision making process is the consensus model. In this model which is practiced by most Quaker groups everyone must agree or no decision is made. Assuming everyone is of good faith and there are no behind the scenes coercing this is by far the most efficient decision making process. It is most efficient because if the original decision does not have the desired results then there is no time and energy wasted on blame thus allowing the group to immediately begin the process of making a new decision. Short term, of course, this may not seem like a very efficient way of making a decision. If an organization is set up to micro manage every aspects of the operation then consensus decision making is not very efficient long term or short term.
Some families or organization will attempt to design a decision making model based up a set of criteria to which either a majority or all of them have agreed. These criteria will often reflect the values of that family. For example a family might decide to only purchase free trade goods which might be very laudable but, may or may not be practical depending on their budget and where they are located.
Other families or organizations may have a very simple set of criteria based upon the stated and actual mission of the organization. If profit is their primary mission then the organization has to decide on whether long or short term profit is the primary goal. If addition to the quality of life for the employees and the customers are the goals than their may be quite a long list of criteria to consider.
One of the decisions currently facing many communities, especially in light of tentative research results, is whether to allow fracking which is a method of extracting gas from the earth. This process might or might not have negative impact on the environment. There is some research which indicates the process might be making certain geographical areas more prone to earthquakes, damage the water supplies and, at times, damage a forest area or the habitat of certain forest areas. On the other hand fracking has given many individual, communities and families some significant financial rewards. It has also decreased the dependence of the United States on foreign oil and gas.
At times it might appear as if none of the possible choices produce desirable results.
Many of our day-to-day decisions may be based on what feels good or best right now. Having a really luxurious house, a very comfortable car, the latest technology,$10000 jeans, may seem to increase one’s self esteem and one’s popularity. In fact, often these things do work to increase one’s popularity. Alcohol, other drugs, a sexual hook up, some unhealthy food and many other substances and behaviors do, in fact, increase one’s enjoyment temporarily.
If I am working with/for an individual ,couple or a family who want to lead a healthier, more content life I first take a history of their emotional, physical, intellectual, nutritional and spiritual health habits. Often some of their presenting symptoms can be directly tied to the choices they make. If I then go on to ask that same individual, couple or family to articulate their decision making model, I will often get a blank stare. It would seem that despite the fact that most people want to be responsible and moral people they have not been conscious of choosing a decision making model which they actively employ on a day-to-day basis. They are then left with making decisions based on some poorly articulated criteria which they inherited from family, peers or others.
My own decision making model is an attempt to take many factors into account. These include:
· How will my decision affect other people in my family, circle of friends, or wider community? Is the decision based on a realistic assessment of my long term financial assets? Is it in my budget?
· Are there other resources for the product I want? This is most obvious with books. I love books and at one time purchased a lot more books than I now do. I have become much more intentional bout checking to see if I can get the book from the library.
· Would I be ashamed of my decision? Does it violate any of my stated values? Would I be proud to share this decision with those I respect.
· Am I trying to impress some other person(s) with the results of this decision? Is this okay? For example I might decide spending a little more on business cards will make a better impression on some. That is realistic and does not violate my value system. On the other hand, if I decide a $300.00 shirt is going to impress someone that is not okay within my value system.
· It is healthy for my body. This is evident in my choices about food products or things which directly affect my health. For example a friend of mine is sleeping on a very old mattress even though she has serious back issues. It makes sense for her to attempt to budget money for a really good mattress.
· Is what I am considering a need or a want?
· How honest am I being with myself? Am I willing to share this particular decision making process with a trusted friend who will let me know if the think I am being dishonest with myself.
This sounds like a really involved process and it is. On the other hand, as is true in many areas of life, a little practice makes this easier.
There are also many decisions which are not that important and which I do not need to obsess about or analyze in any depth. The important point is that I know that life does not just happen to me. Although it is true that certain life events just show up, how I respond to them can be a very intentional decision.
I also want to remember that decision making is a learned skill which takes practice. I am not going to be the perfect decision maker. It is okay to make mistakes. At the same time, I would like to avoid making the same mistake over and over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein called that insanity.
One of the advantages of being single and living alone is that one does not have to negotiate with another person regarding day-to-day decisions. If one makes a mistake, one simply takes responsibility for it and then makes a new decision, lives with the results of the previous decision or makes a new one even if that involves adsorbing a financial loss as a result of the previous decision. That is the good news – no one to blame. The bad news is that there is no one with whom to share the decision and, thus, no one to share the blame if it turns out to be a decision which does not achieve the desired results.
Even if we live alone, most of us are connected to social, community or work institutions which require us to make decisions with other people. As we know there are many ways for any group to make decisions. One can, for example, have a boss, a CEO or any structure which assigns responsibility to a position to make final decisions. The person in that position might ask for input from individuals, an assigned committee, or the next level of management, but it is still up to the top person on the hierarchy to make the decision and to subsequently take responsibility for the results of the decision. Just recently we, in the United States were told that the head of a Federal Agency was resigning because of what had happened on her watch. She was well aware that no matter how little input she had into the actions of individuals in the agency who made unsound decisions it was ultimately her responsibility.
One can also make decisions by simple majority or require that a certain percentage agree to a particular decision for it to approved and enacted. This, of course, can take more time than having an individual make the decision
The most time consuming decision making process is the consensus model. In this model which is practiced by most Quaker groups everyone must agree or no decision is made. Assuming everyone is of good faith and there are no behind the scenes coercing this is by far the most efficient decision making process. It is most efficient because if the original decision does not have the desired results then there is no time and energy wasted on blame thus allowing the group to immediately begin the process of making a new decision. Short term, of course, this may not seem like a very efficient way of making a decision. If an organization is set up to micro manage every aspects of the operation then consensus decision making is not very efficient long term or short term.
Some families or organization will attempt to design a decision making model based up a set of criteria to which either a majority or all of them have agreed. These criteria will often reflect the values of that family. For example a family might decide to only purchase free trade goods which might be very laudable but, may or may not be practical depending on their budget and where they are located.
Other families or organizations may have a very simple set of criteria based upon the stated and actual mission of the organization. If profit is their primary mission then the organization has to decide on whether long or short term profit is the primary goal. If addition to the quality of life for the employees and the customers are the goals than their may be quite a long list of criteria to consider.
One of the decisions currently facing many communities, especially in light of tentative research results, is whether to allow fracking which is a method of extracting gas from the earth. This process might or might not have negative impact on the environment. There is some research which indicates the process might be making certain geographical areas more prone to earthquakes, damage the water supplies and, at times, damage a forest area or the habitat of certain forest areas. On the other hand fracking has given many individual, communities and families some significant financial rewards. It has also decreased the dependence of the United States on foreign oil and gas.
At times it might appear as if none of the possible choices produce desirable results.
Many of our day-to-day decisions may be based on what feels good or best right now. Having a really luxurious house, a very comfortable car, the latest technology,$10000 jeans, may seem to increase one’s self esteem and one’s popularity. In fact, often these things do work to increase one’s popularity. Alcohol, other drugs, a sexual hook up, some unhealthy food and many other substances and behaviors do, in fact, increase one’s enjoyment temporarily.
If I am working with/for an individual ,couple or a family who want to lead a healthier, more content life I first take a history of their emotional, physical, intellectual, nutritional and spiritual health habits. Often some of their presenting symptoms can be directly tied to the choices they make. If I then go on to ask that same individual, couple or family to articulate their decision making model, I will often get a blank stare. It would seem that despite the fact that most people want to be responsible and moral people they have not been conscious of choosing a decision making model which they actively employ on a day-to-day basis. They are then left with making decisions based on some poorly articulated criteria which they inherited from family, peers or others.
My own decision making model is an attempt to take many factors into account. These include:
· How will my decision affect other people in my family, circle of friends, or wider community? Is the decision based on a realistic assessment of my long term financial assets? Is it in my budget?
· Are there other resources for the product I want? This is most obvious with books. I love books and at one time purchased a lot more books than I now do. I have become much more intentional bout checking to see if I can get the book from the library.
· Would I be ashamed of my decision? Does it violate any of my stated values? Would I be proud to share this decision with those I respect.
· Am I trying to impress some other person(s) with the results of this decision? Is this okay? For example I might decide spending a little more on business cards will make a better impression on some. That is realistic and does not violate my value system. On the other hand, if I decide a $300.00 shirt is going to impress someone that is not okay within my value system.
· It is healthy for my body. This is evident in my choices about food products or things which directly affect my health. For example a friend of mine is sleeping on a very old mattress even though she has serious back issues. It makes sense for her to attempt to budget money for a really good mattress.
· Is what I am considering a need or a want?
· How honest am I being with myself? Am I willing to share this particular decision making process with a trusted friend who will let me know if the think I am being dishonest with myself.
This sounds like a really involved process and it is. On the other hand, as is true in many areas of life, a little practice makes this easier.
There are also many decisions which are not that important and which I do not need to obsess about or analyze in any depth. The important point is that I know that life does not just happen to me. Although it is true that certain life events just show up, how I respond to them can be a very intentional decision.
I also want to remember that decision making is a learned skill which takes practice. I am not going to be the perfect decision maker. It is okay to make mistakes. At the same time, I would like to avoid making the same mistake over and over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein called that insanity.
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